• DillyDallyVirtuoso

How to Train Your Bearded Dragon (haha, see what I did there)

So. We meet again. Or maybe not. Maybe you're a first-time reader, and you wanted a little taste of whatever inspiration I'm drumming up here, wondering if I'm actually going to tell how to train a lizard, or if I just used the title for a little DreamWorks wordplay. Ha - caught you there. I was never going to tell you directly. Why would I spoil it when you could enjoy the glorified pleasure of this post?

I got the idea for this post when I finally gathered up the audacious courage to post again, but I had the issue of what to write about. So I turned to my computer's camera roll as a potential source of artistry, and, in the top right corner, I saw an image. It wasn't like a mirage - it was all just the camera roll, but it could have been a sign. Anyway, it was a picture of my bearded dragon, that's right, the one still with me in spirit. As I saw his back half hanging off of a perch (like he was going to fall, but never did, of course having a nice grip on the terrarium furniture. He looked really relaxed, for hanging off his little lizard structure), the yellowish scales against the dramatic green background and with the dark vignette, I remembered the photo was meant to be a little funny, in this satirical way. It wasn't like I was mocking my beloved pet, but more like I saw something that made me laugh a bit and wanted to seal it under the screen of my cellphone. Granted, he was kind of a funny pet. Bubby had these cute chubby legs, and a defiant little frown on his face that made me either melt into syrup or collapse into giggles. Yep. His name was Bubby. I honestly don't know what I was thinking that day, but the word kind of popped into my head, and then poof, it was his name.

He was euthanized in May of 2019, at a meager five years of life. I don't cry at a lot of things, but that was an exception. I don't mean to be a bummer though, but I am telling it like how it is. But - back to the post. So, I am a little nuts about the How to Train Your Dragon trilogy, but I never did train Bub. That was for wordplay, and wordplay only. He was more so the kind of pet I could take from his terrarium, rest him on my lap and write this post with, just pausing every now and then to pet his head. He was a bit prickly, but I grew to love the texture of his hide, and his sweet demureness. If you hate reptiles, you've obviously never met my little lizard. If you still hate them, you're insane, at least in my eyes, even though you reptile haters are probably good people anyway. But still.

Shoutout to Bub.

P.S.: I've decided to do something about my sporadic posting habits. Maybe it's just the throbbing inspiration from whatever music I'm listening to, but I'm going to challenge myself to post at least once per week. I usually flake on posting because of oh, I don't have time, or the classic but I have writers' block. I didn't come up with this, but I did hear somewhere that writers' block is an illusion... we're getting off track here. From now on, I promise to post once a week, every Friday, and use this chance of reaching the souls and hearts of as many people as possible, but I have a much better chance of reaching their funny bones than writing a moving blog post (but I may as well try), to the best of my ability. So prepare to be amazed, or at the very least, amused. See y'all.

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